Recent Movies - The Perfect Host and Escape Plan

 

The Perfect Host - Dr. Niles Crane himself, David Hyde-Pierce, returns to the big screen as Warwick Wilson, a mild professional preparing a dinner party for some friends. On the run from a botched bank robbery, John Taylor (Clayne Crawford, an actor who specializes in smarmy Southern grifters, and does it well), cleverly talks his way into Warwick’s house to rest and plan his next move. He soon finds that this is probably a bad idea. This film takes an abundance of twists and turns and no one and nothing are what they appear. I’d love to talk more about the plot, but it’s better if you go in knowing nothing about what happens. Let’s just say the evening doesn’t turn out as expected for anyone involved. There is also a surprise appearance from ‘70s folk/pop singer Helen Reddy as a nosy neighbor. Doesn’t look like she’s roaring much these days. This is a deliciously fun and twisty little thriller.

 

Rating: **** out of 5 stars

 

 

 

Escape Plan - I suppose Stallone and Schwarzenegger liked working together so much on the Expendables, they chose to team up on this prison escape movie. Their chemistry works, as Escape Plan was quite an enjoyable ride. Stallone is Ray Breslin, an engineer who designs (and escapes from) prisons for a living. When the government hires him to escape a top-secret, futuristic prison and pays Ray and this team top dollar to do so, things take a wrong turn the instant he arrives. The evil warden (Jim Caviezel) isn’t having anyone escape on his watch—regardless of how many beatings he has to apply to make the point. Schwarzenegger plays Rottmayer, an international crime lord who may have the connections to get them out—if they can stay alive long enough to find a way. Meanwhile on the outside, Ray’s team is desperately searching for the prison’s secret location to rescue him.

 

In addition to seeing two aging tough guys have fun, Escape Plan does offer a good story and some solid excitement, as Stallone, investigating escape routes, regularly comes close to discovery and torture by the sadistic warden. No Oscar buzz here, just an enjoyable adventure with two classic action actors.

 

Rating: ***½ out of 5 stars

Infographic - Star Trek Fan Percentages by State

Surprisingly, according to this chart, Oregon has the most Star Trek fans, Mississippi the fewest. Obviously, Mississippians also hate apple pie and puppies. Joking! Kentucky came in at No. 24, probably because of that stupid Next Generation.

Comics Capsule Reviews

Grendel vs. The Shadow #1

- BOOK OF THE WEEK: Grendel vs. The Shadow #1: Matt Wagner is doing some masterful work in recent comics. This book is a legendary meeting between Wagner’s own creation Hunter Rose, the novelist/businessman/ anti-hero/criminal known as Grendel, and one of my favorite pulp heroes, the Shadow. Hunter Rose terrorized major cities in the 1980s, the Shadow operates in the pulpy noir days of the 1930s. Wagner navigates around this conundrum without too much hoopla; Rose reads an antique scroll out loud and is unexpectedly transferred back in time. Isn’t that always the way? Other characters might find this disorienting or have a panic attack. Not Grendel. He sees it as an opportunity. He immediately begins an operation to murder and terrorize local organized crime gangs in order to take over as the head crime boss. This of course brings him to the attention of the Shadow, who finds a new challenge in this unique and brilliant tactician. The book ends as the Shadow, .45s blazing, confronts Grendel in person for the first time high atop a skyscraper.

 

It’s fun to see an irresistible force meet an immovable object. Grendel exists to seize power and affluence, mostly via murder and intimidation. The Shadow exists to shoot people like that in the head. Their confrontation next issue will be the stuff of legends.

 

Rating: ****½ out of 5 stars

 

Original Sin #8

- Original Sin #8: [SPOILERS] Marvel’s latest big event maxiseries wraps up with a whimper. This is not their greatest work. The Watcher is dead, killed by Nick Fury. Fury is the new Watcher (I think), Tim (Dum Dum) Dugan is dead. Marvel is a bit weak on creating things, but they love to tear things down and kill classic characters. Bucky is now some kind of cosmic protector whose job is to stand on meteors and shoot bad guys on other planets (or something). During the series, deep, dark secrets were supposed to be revealed about Marvel heroes. This is just another way Marvel can say their heroes are bad guys at heart. I think that’s how they think they can relate to younger readers today. “Hey, everyone is evil, am I right? People are animals who respond to their base urges, why should Marvel heroes strive for anything better?” Original Sin leaves a new status quo in the Marvel Universe that Marvel has been working toward for about a decade. Their heroes are not heroes, they’re no better than the villains they fight. And Axel Foley (the guy who runs Marvel, whatever his name is) is proud of that fact. Perhaps I’m being unfair—after all, I am not the audience for these books. The art was good.

 

Rating:  * out of 5 stars

 

Southern Bastards #4

- Southern Bastards #4: The first storyline of this intense crime book wraps up with some surprising twists that turn the storyline on its head. After more than 40 years, Earl Tubb has returned home to Alabama. Being a hardhead with more guts than sense, he challenges Coach Boss, the local crime lord. After Coach Boss puts the kid next door to Earl in the hospital to teach Earl a lesson, Earl goes down to the diner to settle things once and for all. The results are a bit unexpected and lead to an enormous cliffhanger. Apparently Earl’s soldier daughter will be joining the cast next issue. She has her work cut out for her.

 

The creative team of writer Jason Aaron and artist Jason Latour (both southern bastards themselves) are doing some stellar work here. The book is violent, real and is sometimes tough to read. Whether the work will ultimately be rewarding remains to be determined, but so far so good.

 

Rating: **** out of 5 stars

 

Ex-Con #1

- Ex-Con #1: Crime writer Duane Swierczynski opens the story of Cody Pomeray, a California grifter at the end of his string of good luck. Cody has what one of his doctors called “color synesthesia”—his perception of others is linked to colors. He sees greed as a green halo around someone’s head, jealously as pink, weakness as orange, lust as red. This allows him to read people pretty well, until it doesn’t. Arrested during his latest scam, Cody does his first state prison stay. Saved from a beating by one of the prison leaders named Pope, Cody is asked to do him a favor when he is released. Four years later, soon after his release, Pope’s representative comes around to collect. And this favor looks to be more dangerous than anything he faced in prison.

 

An intriguing first issue. Cody’s color perceptions seemed to stop in prison; will they return now that he is out? What is the full extent of Pope’s requested favor? Does Cody have any redeeming qualities? I look forward to finding out.

 

Rating: ***½ out of 5 stars

 

All New X-Men #31

- All New X-Men #31: The X-Men’s mutant hunting device Cerebro finds another powerful mutant. After some typical but not unpleasant bickering, the X-Men fly out to investigate. They find Carmen, a new mutant who can zap things to different dimensions. When confronted by said X-Men, Carmen, frightened out of her wits, zaps most of them all over several universes.

 

Bendis tells a fun story, I generally like what he is doing with the X-Men. However, this will be my last issue of All New X-Men. The splash page cliffhanger at the end of the book features Ultimate Spider-Man, a character I find to be a politically correct bore. Bendis falls in love with his own ideas sometimes, and that Ultimate nonsense doesn’t belong anywhere really, much less in the original Marvel Universe. The Ultimate books, characters, costumes, concepts and stories are unequivocally awful. Former Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada said it best himself; when asked if the Ultimate and regular universes would ever officially cross over, he said “[he'd] rather close down one universe than have them cross over because it meant they were officially out of ideas.”

 

I agree. Quesada said it himself: Marvel is now officially out of ideas. I wouldn’t read an Ultimate book (even the name of the line is presumptuous and grating) if someone gave me one. I’m certainly not paying $3.99 for the privilege. Bye, All New X-Men!

 

Rating: Book: *** out of 5 stars.

Last Page: 0 out of 5 stars

Prison Tales – My Friend Sam, Part Three

This is part three of a continuing series looking at my friend Sam’s prison stay for selling overloaded fireworks. A monetary fine would have been sufficient punishment; Sam is a good person and hardly a licentious reprobate. But I suppose the Federal government goons think there aren’t enough decent, hard working businessmen in prison.

 

Part One is here.

 

Part Two is here.

 

I’ve been to visit Sam in prison three times now. He’s been there since May of this year. I am trying to go every month or six weeks in a rotation with other friends and family so he has constantly revolving company. Visiting hours are 8am-3pm on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and holidays. There is an extremely and intentionally confusing point system applied to each convict regarding visitors. They are allowed either 9 or 12 points per month, the specifics are unclear. Each visitor represents a point. Except on the days they get two points. Holidays are no points. It makes no sense ... brought to you by the Federal government, ladies and gentlemen! Sam has a friend who lives in Viet Nam who keeps threatening to visit—I’d hate for him to come halfway around the world, only to be turned away at the prison doors because Sam has too many points for the month because no one can understand or calculate the system. But then, I’m not even sure the authorities understand the point system, so it may not matter.

 

Anyway, I’ve learned the visitor registration system well, so I smoothly engaged the guards and entered the visiting area. No watch, no wallet, no shorts, no hand grenades. Just driver’s license and a car key. And pants. Sam came out looking fit and happy to see someone not dressed in gray. He’d had a recent haircut (done by another convict for a cost of seven stamps) and looked good enough. I couldn’t help but notice how white his hair is getting. Middle age affects us all, but I’m sure the stress of the last few years had something to do with there being more salt than pepper on top. It’s thick as ever, though.

 

We hugged hello, then sat down in a crowded room of visitors. The visiting area is full of square rows of uncomfortable airport-style seating (well, it is a prison). We shared a square with a busy Hispanic family with some entertaining and energetic children. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear it was a typical family with young kids and grandma in tow at the mall, instead of visiting day at the Federal prison.  Sam asked for news and gossip and I did my best to supply. He filled me in on how life was going behind the walls in the “work camp.”

 

The worst thing about minimum-security prison (which tends not to have the violence and abuse of maximum security) is the tedium. The sameness. Every day report for head count. Breakfast. Activities, reading, lunch. Work or job activities. Dinner. Head count. Sports or free time. Bed. Next day, rinse and repeat, until your time is served. Sam said he made out a schedule so he would know what he had to look forward to. He was going to utilize his teaching experience to teach a speech class, but only two folks signed up and it was canceled for now. As a devout Catholic, he goes to Mass on Tuesdays and helps with the Communion service on Sunday mornings. He attends a few classes and tends to have plenty to read. He does have a job cleaning rooms and makes a little over $10.00 per month for his efforts. He said the mind-numbing monotony can make the prisoners a little stir crazy, and asked me to encourage folks to write and visit him as much as possible to take his mind off things, at least for a few minutes at a time. He said a 50 year-old prisoner had recently committed suicide, and that had cast a pallor over the entire prison. Sam didn’t know the man, but we both felt sorrow for the devastating effect on his loved ones. A work camp, minimum security or not, is still a prison.

 

Our talk turned to some of the other folks inside. I asked about some of the things his fellow convicts had done to be sentenced to the camp. Here are some of them:

 

- Wire fraud
- Stole an identity, then bought an Escalade. Did not make any payments, somehow discovered and caught by the police.

- Rigged an ATM scam to get cash regularly from ATMs all over the city.

- Doctor who wrote drug prescriptions for cash and sex. Caught in an FBI sting and took a plea for seven years.

- Lawyer convicted for ethics charges

- Pharmacist convicted on drug charges

 

95% of prisoners were there for some type of drug-related crime. I’ve never taken an illegal drug, never even tried a joint. But this statistic did make me want to rethink, or at least examine, our nation’s drug laws. That’s an awful lot of prison real estate taken up and families ripped apart by non-violent felons. Do they really need to be behind bars for years at a time? What lesson do these folks learn? How to go broke? How to lose their family? In my mind, this would not apply to anyone caught selling drugs to children. That should be swiftly punished by the death penalty.

 

Sam usually destroys the visiting room vending machines on visits, since on the whole prisoners are denied sweets and soft drinks. However, he had just had lunch, so he only went through a honey bun, a Yoo-Hoo, a Pepsi and a cup of coffee. He also had a hamburger from the sandwich machine that looked a little ... dubious. But, it’s amazing what they’re doing with weasel meat today.

 

I asked him if his release date was more definitive. He said he thinks he can get out sometime in June of next year, with home incarceration until August. Then parole for three years and he’ll be a free citizen again. Unable to vote or carry a handgun due to his felony, but free nonetheless.

 

Promptly at 3:00pm (the three hours I was there flew by), a guard announced visiting hours were over. We embraced goodbye. I promised to take care of a few things for him on the outside and return soon. Walking out those doors, leaving my best friend inside for several hundred more rounds of card playing and floor mopping, had the same effect on both of us; sadness and despair. Only 234 days to go until I get my friend back.

Hot Links - Has Jack the Ripper Been Found?

The Face of Jack the Ripper?

Links of Interest:

From Bleeding Cool: Has a London businessman actually found the identity of Jack the Ripper? Sounds plausible.

- CBR’s Brian Cronin watched every episode of The A-Team to find out if Mr. T ever actually said his famous catch phrase "I pity the fool." Interesting, but better him than me. I will not spoil the answer.

- Pearl Jam covers “Let it Go” from Frozen. I'm not obsessed with that song at all. In the slightest bit. In any way.

- Life advice from Stan Lee. Lovely article.

- Movie Legends Revealed: True story; how a horse falling off a cliff in a movie led to the "No animals were harmed during the making of this motion picture" tag at the end of movies.

- Jumping the Shark: You know that saying about the exact moment a TV show starts to decline to medocrity known as "Jumping the Shark?" Remember that it's from an episode of Happy Days when Fonzie jumped over a shark while waterskiing? The writer of that episode, Fred Fox Jr., tells us about it.

A Supergirl TV Show in the Works?

CBR reports that DC may be in the beginning stages of planning a Supergirl TV series. If the character looked like the above cosplay, I'm all in. Of course, on television she probably won't fly, have a costume or be called "Supergirl." But that would be cool, wouldn't it?

* Supergirl cosplay by [m o s t f l o g g e d], photographed by Ron Gejon Photography

What are the 10 books that have had the biggest impact on your life?

A recent Internet meme asked, "What are the 10 books that have had the biggest impact on your life?" These aren't necessarily your favorite books, although some titles are bound to overlap. But what books have changed your life, or made passages and themes stick to your mind like wet biscuit dough long after they're put down? What made you realize a hidden truth or look at the world in a slightly--or majorly--different way? As an addicted reader, it's hard to narrow it down to just 10. But here goes:

- The Bible

- Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs

- Gates of Fire by Stephen Pressfield

- On a Clear Day You Can See General Motors by John DeLorean

- The Seven Levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly

- The Shack by William P. Young

- The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel

- Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

- The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stephen R. Donaldson

- Origins of Marvel Comics by Stan Lee

What are some of your choices?