Deadpool
versus Punisher #1: I have some guidelines for Punisher stories, which are pretty
mild. First, the Punisher isn’t crazy. Obsessed ... driven maybe. Sometimes
cruel. But not crazy. Second, the Punisher doesn’t harm or kill innocent
people. Period. The fantasy of an unstoppable monster with guns destroying bad
guys is over the second a civilian puts an eye out. And third, the Punisher
doesn’t wear white gloves and boots.
Writer
Fred Van Lente sticks to these well, but still writes kind of a dumb story. You’d
think this would just be a comedy piece, with the grim Punisher serving as
straight man for a constantly wisecracking Deadpool. Nope, it’s a
straightforward adventure story, albeit with some humor. Van Lente may follow
all my rules, but I’m not sure he understands the Punisher. Here is his opening
Punisher narration:
“This
may be a little hard to believe. But sometimes ... I actually feel sorry for
them.” He is referring to the criminals he kills. No way. No way Frank Castle
ever says anything like that. He’s on a mission to rid the world of violent, vicious reprobates. He is highly motivated and does not feel sorry for the kinds of trash
he removes from society.
During
a raid on a bad guy’s lair, the Punisher discovers some big game, a shadowy
criminal who acts as a money handler/investor for other criminals, the Bank.
When he goes to kill the Bank and destroy his business, the Bank calls in his
friend Deadpool, who naturally keeps all his money with the Bank.
Another
incredibly stupid part of the story is when the Punisher arrives at the Bank’s
estate and starts shooting. He stands out in the open with no cover, guns blazing, in a t-shirt and
jeans. Now, the Punisher is a former soldier who has fought numerous battles on
both foreign and domestic soil. It would be logical to assume that a criminal
as rich and successful as the Bank would have armed protection around him (he
does). So why would you confront him and his goons, armed to the teeth, without
some type of body armor? This makes no sense. So of course, when Deadpool
shoots back, Frank takes multiple bullet wounds. This is his own fault, as while
a skull t-shirt is the height of fashion, they don’t really work as
bullet-stoppers.
As
the fight rages on, two civilians are killed fleeing the scene, indirectly due
to Frank’s actions. That comes close to violating rule #2. The end is somewhat
humorous as one of our heroes takes a bullet to the head, and it may not be the Punisher.
DvP
#1 isn’t as bad as most Marvel books, but I wouldn’t recommend it. The story is
laden with plot holes and is lazily written by someone who doesn't really grasp the Punisher and his mission. He feels sorry for them? No. Not in a million
years. This comic is not worth $4.00.
Rating:
*** stars out of 5
Curse
Words #4: Curse Words is my favorite new book; it’s filled with mad ideas and
wonderful stories and art. Wizord is a powerful wizard from Earth’s past. He
has been living with a group of wizards in another dimension, serving their all
powerful lord Sizzajee. When Sizzajee decides it’s time to conquer Earth, he
sends Wizord to the present day to pave the way. Trouble is, Wizord gets to
present day New York and decides he kind of likes it. Why should he conquer
Earth and turn it into a burning cinder, when he can live like a king in a
high-rise and enjoy all the pleasures of modern high society?
Abandoning
Sizzajee’s plans, Wizord sets himself up as a wizard for hire and starts
stuffing his mattress full of money. In this issue, Sizzajee discovers Wizord’s
betrayal and dispatches his former lover, the wizard Ruby Stitch, to Earth to
kill him. The book’s cliffhanger is Stitch confronting Wizord. As he displays
his shock that Sizzajee chose Ruby to stop him, Ruby admits that Sizzajee didn’t
pick her. She volunteered.
Curse
Words is full of magic battles, strategic mistakes and waxing and waning
powers. And that’s just Wizord! It’s great fun to see him take to the modern
world, trying to fit in and understand human attitudes and behavior. He also
makes mistakes, which he tries to cover up but just ends up making a bigger
mess. The question remains, is he evil and impersonating a benevolent wizard?
Or can he learn to be an actual good guy and care about humanity? If he
survives Ruby Stitch, I hope we find out.
Rating:
****½ stars out of 5
The
Greatest Adventure #1: Any cursory reader of this blog will know that I am an
avid fan of a certain Mr. Edgar Rice Burroughs and his many pulp hero
creations. So, thankfully, is Bill Willingham, famous for his excellent Fables comic series. Willingham, along
with artist Cezar Razek, have taken upon themselves the enviable task of
amalgamating several of ERB’s most famous creations into one massive adventure.
Joining
together here are my favorite ERB characters the Clayton family—Tarzan, his
wife Jane and their son Korak. Along for the ride are also John Carter of Mars
and his wife Dejah Thoris, Jason Gridley, Billy Byrne (the Mucker), Ulysses
Paxton, and more to come in future issues. Hopefully David Innes will be
joining soon, from the center of the Earth.
When
inventor Jason Gridley wakes up a thousand light years from Earth, his captors
tell him they need one of his most prized inventions, then set him to work
creating the technology. At the first opportunity he steals a small ship and
heads for home. He barely makes it to crash land in Africa. He seeks out his
old friend John Clayton, Lord Greystoke, aka Tarzan, to tell him the tale and request
assistance. Tarzan assembles a crew very familiar to fans of ERB. Gridley
supplies an art deco spaceship, and the intrepid adventurers set off to fight
Gridley’s erstwhile captors.
A
fun historical note is the newspaper ad Tarzan places to find his crew. “Men of
Adventure,” it begins, “sought for an expedition of high risk and low reward.”
This is inspired by the ad placed by real-life explorer Ernest Shackleton in
1913 for fellow adventurers on his trip to the South Pole. I love Bill
Willingham.
The
art gets the job done but could be more dynamic. I’m sure once the action
commences we’ll have fighting and space battles aplenty. This one is going to
be fun.
Rating:
**** stars out of 5
Britannia:
We Who Are About To Die #1: I have a deep and abiding love for all things
Ancient Rome. However, I find most media to be lacking in accuracy of Roman
culture or understanding of the Roman mind. As usual, writer Peter Milligan and
artist Juan Jose Ryp rise easily to the task. A sequel to their first Rome
miniseries, Britannia, “We Who Are
About To Die” again features former legionary Antonius Axia, on his way to
becoming Rome’s first private detective. This time all the action takes place
in Rome, as Roman aristocrats are being murdered by an unknown force and
Emperor Nero is feeling pressured to do something about it. He blames chief Vestal
Virgin Rubria for not knowing what is happening or what the gods will. She in turn
asks Axia for help. He immediately begins to put clues together, and his
preliminary investigation leads right to one of the most famous and lethal
gladiators in the arena, the female fighter Achillia.
Britannia
provides a fantastic adventure in another time and place along with an intriguing
(and probably supernatural) murder mystery. Milligan’s story is page turning,
but the star here is the picture-perfect art from Ryp. Ryp is brilliant at action,
facial expressions and body language. He also gets Rome perfectly right, from
military gear to how a toga should look. The key to a good comic is that the
story can be followed even if there were no captions or dialog. Ryp’s
storytelling is that good. This book does everything a comic is supposed to—in
spades. Highest recommendation.
Rating:
****½ stars out of 5
Batman/Shadow
#1: I’m always up for a team-up between my two favorite heroes of the night.
These caped mystery men usually go together like chocolate and peanut butter.
Unfortunately, this first issue had me asking if the creative team only worked
on this series because Matt Wagner was busy.
The
story’s plot, by Scott Snyder and Steve Orlando, is a bit inscrutable. I’m sure
it will open up as the story progresses, but did not make for an interesting
first issue. Investigating a murder in Gotham City, Batman crosses paths with
the Shadow, who hypnotizes him and disappears. Batman then finds a clue that
leads him back to an old teacher in the French Alps. There, instead of his
teacher he finds ... guess who?
The
art is a major drawback. Riley Rossmo is not a good artist. It doesn’t help
that Batman is in his horrendous Rebirth costume, with tiny pinpricks for ears
and an obnoxious yellow outline around the bat on his chest. It’s just ugly.
His Shadow is better, although I’m not sure why his Shadow drapes his iconic red
scarf around his entire upper body instead of just his mouth. Furthermore, in
the story Batman is surrounded by tech, from several hundred TV screens in the
Batcave to drones following him around and giving him information while he
moves through Gotham. That’s not Batman—a few computers are fine, but this is
smart-phone, selfie-taking Millennial Batman. Ugh.
I
didn’t love this book, but it is Batman and the Shadow. I’ll probably stick
with it, but ... Matt Wagner, please?
Rating:
*** stars out of 5
